Helpful specialist tips to take the step of leaving your partner
Many times it is the couples who decide to break their relationship by mutual agreement. Other times it is one of the people who decides to put an end to the courtship, and many other times you can have the role of leaving that relationship yourself. What to do when you want to leave your partner but you don’t know how? And, above all, what to do if you fall in love with another having a boyfriend? Can the damage be avoided?
In Diario Femenino we want to answer all your questions and, for this, we have contacted the psychologist María Pérez , who has given us some very practical and useful advice for when you find yourself in a situation so complicated as to break the relationship you have. with your partner. Shall we start?
What to do if you don’t dare to leave your partner?
It may be the case, in the first place, that you want to leave your partner for whatever reason but you don’t dare, you don’t know how to take the step, you don’t know what words to choose … What can you do? María Pérez tells us that “a good identification of what we want and how we want it will help us to focus”, something that is quite important when making decisions as essential as leaving your partner. Above all, ” we must forget those ideals such as having a perfect partner , and not be fooled by movies, sayings, social networks …”, says the psychologist, something crucial when leaving your partner.
This is a big step, and it is a step about responsibility . “If we are responsible for the decision, we will try the best for ourselves and for the other,” María tells us. But what is the best? and, above all, who decides what is best? The answer is simple: yourself, taking responsibility for building your life.
María tells us that, if the decision to leave your partner is made and it only remains to know how to execute it, take the step forward, you just have to “be patient and be clear that sooner or later we are going to carry it out.” Always with the best words and the best intentions, thus avoiding the greatest possible damage.
I have fallen in love with another person: how can I leave my partner without hurting him?
It may be the case that one of the main reasons why you want to end your relationship is that you have fallen in love with someone else . Can this happen? Of course, it can be a deal breaker. But it is also likely that you do not want to hurt your partner, that you do not want him to suffer. So how do you communicate your decision?
María Pérez has it clear: the ideal is to be sincere, compassionate and not influence “morbid details”. That is, what you should NOT do is comment too much on your affections towards the other person, because it is not something in good taste and your partner could even have a worse time since their self-esteem may be reduced.
“It must also be taken into account that at the time of the breakup there may be reproaches, tears, promises of change …”, the psychologist comments. “Words that come from a calm heart and a serene mind are much more reliable and can be taken into account more,” he says. That is why, at the end of the relationship, we must have a moment of reflection, a few moments for oneself . You must “air out” the relationship you just ended before entering a new one, to be able to turn the page, to be able to love.