We are sure that the idea that your partner may be cheating on you makes your hair stand on end. It really is a situation that nobody expects or nobody wants. Especially if we have agreed that our relationship is closed and monogamous. What do we do then if we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful to us? How can we detect an infidelity? We are going to see some infallible guidelines to make you suspicious . Attentive!
How to know if your partner is being unfaithful
As if it were a movie, the first thing that usually occurs to us is to put on a raincoat, sunglasses and go out on the street to spy on our partner and become spies, but this is not the attitude that we recommend since we can become obsessed and can even further damage our relationship.
After all, infidelity is criticized and practiced in equal measure . It is logical that it is something that makes us shake the foundations of our relationship but especially of our beliefs about what a relationship is or not.
But it is logical that you want answers and that you want to be calm and safe in your relationship . Therefore, before starting this journey, we recommend that you stop to think and analyze before opening this melon:
-What has led you to think that your partner is being unfaithful to you ? Has there been any significant change that makes you suspicious ?
-Do you have proof? Is it an assumption? Have they told you but you can’t believe it?
-If in the end you discover that your partner is unfaithful, would you like to fix the partner? Do you think you could forgive him ?
-If you discover that your partner is not unfaithful and that you were wrong, do you think this situation has given you clues that your relationship would need some help ?
Guidelines that can make you suspect of infidelity
There are really no infallible keys that make us discover that our partner is unfaithful to us , but there are more or less significant guidelines that can make us suspect that our partner may be having an affair .
+Change of schedules or activities
The most significant thing is usually that our partner changes their schedules and activities and is much more time than before . He changes his habits and now he has meetings that he did not have before. Either you do activities or you go to places that you did not go before.
+Start taking care of your image much more
Change the way you dress and take care of your appearance much more. He begins to play sports if he did not do it before or if he cares more about his physique. He is even more careful about his diet or his weight .
+Your mobile or your computer become enemies
He uses them with more discretion. It seems that at times he goes to another place to answer or takes the phone when he did not before. Suddenly he no longer takes all the calls or reads all the messages when you are around. He places it upside down. He is much more reluctant to let us see his mobile . It even has a second mobile or hidden applications with other passwords that you do not know. He does not use the mobile in a way that you can see it .
+More distant or more detailed?
On some occasions, there is a change in the couple’s relationship , either because the distance between us continues and increases or on the contrary, our partner is more detailed and loving with us.
+Strange movements in the bank account
It is also common to find some strange movement in the bank account. That is, there are new expenses that did not exist before and above all, you are suspicious if there are any hotel or restaurant expenses at times where you are supposed to be working or doing another activity.
+New friends
New friends that seem to change our partner and this begins to think differently or have opinions on things that before seemed not to care.
+Unconvincing answers
Sometimes their answers don’t convince you. When you ask him what he’s done after leaving work or the gym, he does n’t seem to know what to answer . You notice that he tense and hesitates when answering. Perhaps he becomes defensive by your questioning and some plans or activities do not fit you.
+Lipstick or cologne
You come home with a makeup or lipstick stain on your neck or shoulder, perhaps the smell of another cologne . Sometimes he comes with a shirt on backwards or with more matted hair than normal.
Logically, all these situations in isolation do not mean that they are synonymous with infidelity, but they are only clues that can make us suspicious .
What if you find out that your partner is being unfaithful to you?
If after our investigations we are clear that our partner hides something strange and smells like infidelity, do not wait to have an endless list of irrefutable evidence, try to confront your partner as soon as possible . This way you will avoid obsessing over the subject and further wear down the relationship.
It may take several talks to get to know the truth, or find an answer that more or less reassures us. And logically this does not mean that we should believe everything that our partner tells us, but it is a way of putting ourselves on notice and gives us an alarm that tells us that our relationship needs urgent help .
If after this talk you believe that the verdict is positive and our partner confesses or we really clearly discover that it is true, it is very important that we both have some things clear: Does our partner really feel regret? Do we both want to continue together? Or do we prefer to break up? If we want to continue together, are we both willing to ask for help ?
Can you overcome an infidelity?
It is very important that if our idea is to continue together, we can ask a professional for help . From therapy, it is recommended to work on these situations with a professional and it is transmitted that of course it is possible to continue our relationship after an infidelity . Infidelity doesn’t really have to be a reason to break up. It is true that the outcome of successful therapy is not guaranteed, but if we begin this path, we will have to build a new and improved relationship. And this work together and as a team will help us to achieve it. This introspection forces us to take stock of our partner and build on a new, stronger foundation.
Esther Perel, a well-known psychologist in the US, says that now the brave thing is to stay in a relationship after an infidelity, when a few years ago it was the opposite, the brave thing was to be able to leave after an infidelity. When it comes to relationships, things change and in what way … In the end, the decision to stay or leave is very personal and both decisions require a lot of courage.